Monday, April 29, 2024

On Music

As a chronic music listener, I've come up with a system of sorts when it comes to "filing" and organizing what I like. Anything I find boring is immediately thrown out of the picture. I used to force myself to get through a whole song or album, even if it wasn't pleasing to me, just to give it a chance. Eventually I figured, if it doesn't please me now then it most likely never will. And I skip over it. I suppose that same mentality can apply to other life situations. Why must we force ourselves to pursue routes which bring no joy? Why must we try things we have no interest in, just to feel the satisfaction of saying we completed it? What small chance of short lived satisfaction is worth time being uncomfortable and strained?

All my music must be organized into playlists with songs and artists of a similar type. That way, if I'm feeling a certain way I know where I can find songs to match, elevate, or even dampen my mood. Sometimes if I listen to the wrong song for the state I'm in it gets really uncomfortable and everything feels so jumbled up - it's better to stick to what's familiar.


Monday, April 22, 2024

New Bucket List

 1. Study abroad, right now I'm thinking Italy. Spain or Ireland would also be nice.

2. Make a painting that really means something. Talia suggested a "Picasso-esque portrait of lesbians" but I don't care too much for Picasso.

3. Write some songs for myself so I can record and release a tape. My biggest influence so far is Liz Phair's Girly Sound Tapes, but I'm sure I'll find some more inspiration in other places.

4. Write like my life depends on it, until I come up with enough for a whole book about nothing.

5. Think of no one but myself.

6. Have a cup of tea, to make my head stop spinning.

Friday, April 19, 2024

On Me as an Artist

I never really considered myself as an "artist" until pretty recently. Until then I was just someone who did art. yes, I have other creative hobbies such as writing, playing guitar. But they were never anything more than that, and I would've never considered them to be in the realm of art. I'm not sure why the switch happened. Everything basically started changing once I read Joan Didion and picked up a journal for my English class. My reinterest in reading peaked again during my senior year while I was taking AP Lit. My writing interest peaked during that summer when I started Seether. Visual art was always harder to come by. The past 4 years I had been making art out of necessity, in order to complete assignments and get a grade. The pieces I made were meaningless beyond the surface level purpose of being for class. But I guess all that really started to change once I introduced myself to Patti Smith.

I mean, she was everything. Artist, writer, musician, fashionable in the way I like, spiritual, everything I strove to be. That on top of the fact that the new art class I was taking helped give me a new perspective on the art I could be making. I began to see art through an intellectual realm, through an emotional one as well. Art was something you could put your whole self into, and others could put all of themselves into and the whole world could feel as one.

I wanted art to be me. I felt an insatiable urge to make things and share them with everyone. I started making videos, montages really. I carried around my little camera with me, anxious to capture everything.

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